Children’s Mental Health Week: How digital therapy helps children find their place 

Children’s Mental Health Week runs from the 9th to 15th of February 2026. This year’s theme, “This Is My Place”, highlights how belonging shapes children’s wellbeing.  

At Xyla, we see every day how feeling connected helps young people thrive. To explore what belonging looks like in practice, and how digital therapy can help build it, we spoke with Carolyn Malkin, our CBT Clinical Supervisor for children and young people’s services. 

When you work with children and young people, what does belonging look like day to day? 

Belonging shows up in small, ordinary moments. A child is included in play, has a place in their peer group, and feels part of family life. They’re noticed for their strengths, not only their behaviour. You can often see the difference at break times: children who feel they belong aren’t always on the edges or alone. Practical things matter too. If a child travels far for school, it’s harder for friendships to continue outside lessons, which can make connections fragile. 

You also hear belonging in how freely a young person speaks. Many stay quiet because they think everyone else is coping, or they mask to get through the day. Neurodivergent children can be especially at risk of going along with things that feel unkind or confusing just to fit in. Family pressures also shape how children present. Some put on a hard front at school to protect themselves. But one steady adult – a coach, teacher, or grandparent – who checks in without fuss can shift everything. With that person in their corner, children often begin to thrive. 

How do you build a sense of “this is my place” in a digital therapeutic space? 

I start by making the space feel safe. I reassure the young person that they can say anything and that we’ll work things out together. Then they set the comfort level. Some won’t use their camera, some think best while drawing or fiddling, and younger children often talk more freely while they play. Movement is encouraged – therapy doesn’t require sitting still. 

Privacy takes practical planning. Homes are busy, so I ask parents to set up the tech and then step out so the young person can talk openly. If home isn’t suitable, we offer school sessions, but think carefully about visibility because not every child wants others to know they’re in therapy. Digital flexibility helps. They can move in or out of the camera, and they can turn it off if emotions rise. Where possible, we encourage them to keep the camera on and find ways of working through difficult emotions together. Parents can join briefly or attend sessions to plan something, and then we can return to one-to-one if the young person agrees to. The aim is calm, consistent contact where the young person chooses the pace. 

What does child-led therapy look like in practice? 

It begins with the child’s goal in their own words. I adapt the method to how they process the world. For autistic or ADHD presentations, modelling often works better than role play. Showing a step in real life is clearer than acting out a script. Explaining the “why” behind a task reduces anxiety and builds engagement – for example, sharing simple facts helped one young person manage a strong fear of wasps. 

Interests become bridges. A girl who thought no one liked her music tried a planned conversation and found classmates who shared her taste. Simple behavioural experiments also create quick wins. One pupil who clashed with a teacher over footwear tried wearing the correct shoes for a day; the switch from sanction to praise changed the tone of her mornings. 

Psychoeducation also gives young people language for their experiences. Sharing information about body dysmorphic disorder helped a teenager realise her difficulties were more than social anxiety and gave her the words to seek the right support. 

How can parents, carers and teachers help children who are struggling to feel like they belong? 

Begin with curiosity, not correction. Keep the child’s voice at the centre with open questions such as “How did you manage that?” or “Who would you like to tell?” Honest conversations can reset relationships quickly. One mum who shared her own ADHD diagnosis moved from constant conflict to joint understanding and learning. 

In school, attention matters. If the only way to be noticed is by acting out, some pupils will perform and quieter ones will disappear. Keeping corrections private and routines predictable helps children feel safe enough to move toward the group. 

How does child-led digital therapy help children build belonging day-to-day and ease pressure on specialist services? 

Digital therapy slows things down and gives young people genuine choice over how sessions run, helping them feel safe and heard. We use clear language, practical modelling and simple explanations so they can try small social steps and communicate more confidently at home and in school. Over a few weeks you often see masking lessen, routines settle and a steadier sense of belonging emerge. 

Early support prevents difficulties escalating. Digital sessions after school keep attendance high, especially when privacy is set up well. Brief parent check-ins help adults act early rather than after a crisis. As flashpoints reduce, schools report fewer disruptions, and children need less from high-intensity services. When a referral is still needed, the young person arrives with language, strategies and at least one trusted adult behind them, reducing the risk of a revolving door. 

Digital therapies for children and young people 

Supporting a child to feel they belong strengthens not just their wellbeing but the systems around them. If you’re exploring ways to strengthen local support for children’s mental health, you can find more about our approach and services on Xyla’s Children’s Mental Health page.